Council Park-keeper – Jobsworth

Don’t we all just love public officials especially petty public officials. Take some of the keepers of our public parks:

Council Park-keeper – Jobsworth

There were aliens on the bowling green
Where they oozed out their slime.
They said they had come quite a way.
They’d come through space and time.

These aliens messed the bowling green,
They cluttered up the lawn.
And I don’t care where they have been
I was not going to fawn.

Their breath smelt like they had drunk bleach.
Their bodies oozed with goo.
I pointed out the bye-law’s breach,
Well, what else could I do?

Their space time capsule was first rate.
But I couldn’t let them pass.
Not only had they come too late –
They must “Keep off the grass”!

They said they thought I led the earth
They said a little more
Then just to show they knew my worth
They told me “…this meant war!”

Now that the park is there no more
An’ another thing to mention
That now the whole wide world’s at war
Will this affect my pension?

Copyright T Morgan 14.3.2003